Why Self Doubt in Healing is Normal: And How to Overcome It
- Dillon Andres
- Mar 27
- 4 min read
Introduction: The Frustration of Feeling Like You're Back at Square One
Have you ever felt like you were making real progress in your personal development, only to be hit with the exact same limiting belief you thought you had already conquered? It’s like getting a surprise call from a telemarketer who just won’t take the hint—you thought you were done with this!
Healing is often portrayed as a one-way journey: you learn the lesson, level up, and live happily ever after. But that’s not how it works. The truth? Healing is messy. It’s not a straight road; it’s a chaotic scribble of progress, setbacks, breakthroughs, and unexpected challenges.
So, if you’ve ever doubted your ability to heal because an old wound resurfaced, this article is for you. We’ll explore why self-doubt is a natural part of the process, how to stop mistaking it for failure, and what you can do to keep moving forward.
The Myth of “Completed” Healing
One of the biggest misconceptions about personal growth is the idea that healing is something you complete—like a diploma you earn after enough therapy, books, and “aha” moments. Many of us believe that one day, we’ll just wake up fully healed, enlightened, and effortlessly at peace (probably while sipping green tea and practicing yoga on a mountaintop).
But real life doesn’t work that way. Healing isn’t a destination; it’s a practice.
Psychologists refer to this as the illusion of linear progress—the false belief that personal growth follows a simple cause-and-effect pattern. In reality, healing is like going to the gym. You don’t just reach a certain level of fitness and stay there forever. Strength isn’t something you achieve once—it’s something you maintain.
The same goes for emotional healing. Just because an old wound resurfaces doesn’t mean you’re back at the beginning. It just means you’re encountering it from a new perspective, with more strength than before.
Healing Happens in Cycles, Not Straight Lines
Imagine you’re climbing a snowy mountain. You reach a plateau and think, Yes! I made it! But then the snow clears, revealing another hill to climb. Suddenly, you’re questioning everything: Wait, wasn’t this supposed to be over?
That’s exactly how healing works. Just because you hit a rough patch doesn’t mean you’re failing.
You’re just growing in layers.
A study published in the Journal of Traumatic Stress found that trauma recovery isn’t linear but follows a spiral pattern. People revisit old wounds at deeper levels as they grow. In other words, if something still hurts, it doesn’t mean you haven’t made progress. It just means you’re working through it on a new level.
So, ask yourself:
Have you ever reacted to something differently than you would have years ago?
Have you ever sat with an uncomfortable emotion instead of running from it?
Have you ever looked back and realized that something that used to crush you now only stings?
That’s proof of growth. You’re not in the same place—you’re at a higher level of the spiral.
Why Self-Doubt Shows Up in Healing
So why do we still doubt our healing? Because self-doubt thrives on uncertainty.
Research on cognitive bias shows that the brain hates gray areas. It wants black-and-white answers: Healed or not healed? Success or failure?
But healing is both. You can be making progress and still have rough days. You can be strong and still have doubts.
For many of us, self-doubt hits hardest when we revisit old struggles. We think, How am I back here? Didn’t I already learn this lesson?
But here’s a powerful mindset shift: If something is resurfacing, it’s not because you’re failing—it’s because you’re ready to handle it at a deeper level.
Let that sink in. Healing isn’t about avoiding pain forever. It’s about handling it better every time it comes up.
How to Stop Self-Doubt from Sabotaging Your Healing
So, what can you do when self-doubt creeps in? Here are three powerful steps to keep moving forward:
1. Normalize It
Self-doubt isn’t proof that you’re failing—it’s proof that you care. Doubt is a normal part of any transformation. Instead of fighting it, acknowledge it. Tell yourself: This is part of the process. I’ve been here before, and I’ve made it through.
2. Check the Evidence
When self-doubt tells you that you’re not healing, challenge it with facts:
What used to break me that I can handle now?
What boundaries do I set now that I never used to?
What painful cycles have I actually stopped repeating?
The answers to these questions are your proof. Healing isn’t about feeling “perfect” all the time—it’s about seeing real changes, no matter how small.
3. Get Support
Healing isn’t meant to be done alone. That’s why coaching, therapy, and surrounding yourself with the right people matter. You don’t have to carry this weight by yourself.
If you’re struggling, reach out to a friend, a mentor, or a professional. Sometimes, having someone else remind you of how far you’ve come is exactly what you need.
Final Thoughts: You’re Growing, Not Failing
The next time self-doubt shows up, remind yourself:
You’re not moving backward—you’re growing.
You don’t need to be fully healed to be making progress.
You’re already ahead just by doing the work.
Healing isn’t about getting rid of pain forever. It’s about becoming strong enough to handle it. And you are doing exactly that.
If this article resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear this message. And if you’re ready to dive deeper into your self-exploration journey, grab my free e-book, 30 Days to Know Yourself. The link is in the show notes.
Remember: Healing isn’t a straight line. It’s a journey. And the fact that you’re still walking it? That’s proof you’re already winning.
If you're ready to go deeper into understanding your relationship with yourself, grab my FREE eBook, 30 Days to Know Yourself,
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-Dillon "Wolverine" Andres
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